Festering Anger

I was listening yesterday to a colleague describing what is apparently the latest Akihabara ‘Otaku’ sub-culture phenomenon… he was talking of the new ‘aggressive’ form of the maid café. Apparently it is just like any other maid café apart from the fact that prior to ordering the customer is abused by the maids. Only after one has ordered their food or drink does the maid bow down in eager attempt to serve their master customers… It got me thinking about the demand behind such a service…

In general, I would say that Japan is a pretty non-aggressive place. While the history books point to conflict, today’s environment seems very peaceful. You never hear people arguing in public – in the streets or in stores, and only rarely have I found myself having a heated discussion when disagreeing with someone here.

Conflict is not the Japanese way…. this society thrives on the power of consensus and team-based decision making. The expression of anger is often very subtle – so much so that a lot of the times it’s completely silent. In my place of work we are often working under very high pressure to deliver and only occasionally do I see people fume…. And that seems to be exactly what they do – say nothing, just get red and bite their tongue. Once and once only have I ever heard someone yell on the phone and the interesting reaction after the conversation was complete silence – I don’t believe anyone ever mentioned the incident.

I have to admit however, to having seen more foreigners throw tantrums of sorts in Japan, than Japanese people. The longer I have stayed in Japan, the more this embarrasses me, as I know what a social taboo it is. I feel for the Japanese person involved since I know they don’t know how to cope with such outbursts, and also feel embarrassed for myself as a foreigner that we pose this trouble. Yet, as a foreigner, I also know the many frustrations from differences in Japan we must cope with….

At the same time, while I respect the self-control of people here, it does make you wonder about the genuine feelings and opinions of people at times. I think the harboring of animosity and anger that goes on is quite remarkable given the glimpses of peoples’ true feelings I have witnessed over the years on many matters. Often a small snarky comment on a night out drinking with colleagues can indicate a much greater resentment felt. An outburst of sorts is just bad manners. I have to say, I really do admire the level of self-control!

Many around the world would say that keeping everything inside isn’t healthy. Indeed, many cultures place high value on the venting of anger often appreciating it as passion and honesty. With the new style of maid cafes perhaps there is a newly found appreciation of this amongst Japanese? Personally though, I like the safety and harmony that this island provides, the self control that exists, and while much goes on beneath the surface, I prefer to take the mystery of everything as enchanting rather than annoying…. which only further fuels my desire to understand more about this country and its people.